She sits in her high back chair, staring off into space most of the time. The attendants do their best to occupy her long day with a bath, or a chance to go to church, or sit through a sing along. The days get long for her, and truthfully, I don’t visit her as often any more as I should. Most days she won’t talk to me if I come in to see her, or she begs someone to take her home, or to put her in bed. Spending any amount of time with her is emotionally painful, depressing and unrewarding. We go because she is our mother, because we know she would go if we were the ones in the home. It’s been four years and seven months since my mother’s debilitating stroke landed her into the old folk’s home in our hometown. It’s a wonderful facility, so that makes putting her in there a much more acceptable position. There was no way any of us could care for her; the lifting and intense work would have just about killed any of her children.
The biggest consolation was that about six months before that terrible stroke, she had been accepted for a long term care policy. It covers all but a small daily charge for the incredible care she needs. Let me tell you, they charge for everything possible. Each time they lift her out of bed, it costs. Each time she needs a diaper change, it costs. Without that important insurance, the wealth she so carefully saved up throughout her lifetime would now be gone.
In the book The Road to Wealth, Suze Orman strongly advises the reader to get long care insurance. She points out that the cost of nursing home care in New York is “already above $130,000 a year.” (241) Long term nursing care costs will only increase, and insurance will save a person’s wealth to make a better life for them in the facility. For example, the savings my mother has helps pay for her haircuts, new clothes and a few gifts for her caregivers. It also covers the additional money required to take care of her: $6 a day.
People say periodically to me, “Well, I’m going to just get as poor as I can and let the state take care of me.” Here is an example of what happened to my aunt when she started showing signs of senility. Her daughter asked if there was space for her in the nursing home. No, she was told, there was no available rooms.
There were again several incidents in which my aunt exhibited bizarre behavior. For example, she began asking the people who lived near her apartment to help call her husband at work, even though he had been dead for thirty years. Alarmed, her daughter, who lived several hours away, again contacted the nursing home. No room, she was told.
Then one day they found my aunt wandering the streets. This time the police got involved and suddenly there was room at the home for her. Why hadn’t there been before? Because she was on Medicaid and if the home had to take another Medicaid patient, the loss on the room would have been enormous. The nursing home, facing a million dollar shortfall due to a freeze in how much the state pays for Medicaid patients, are forced to wait for a long-term care patient.
Imagine your loved one living without that long term care policy. Imagine they are just on Medicaid. If you are a hospital and aren’t getting enough to cover a certain patient, would you encourage the attendants to change the diaper or get them out of bed regularly if the procedure isn’t paid? Where are the staff priorities if the procedures aren’t getting paid?
No one is implying that nursing care providers aren’t professional enough to do the right thing. I have no doubt in my mind that the conscientious people who care for my mother and my aunt are doing what’s right for both. But this is in a small town. What about a bigger city? Do the math numbers matter? If it were your parent, wouldn’t you want them to have the long term care?
Visit Beth Rose’s Wear Many Hats for a different perspective for the informed investor.
